Saturday, June 27, 2009

man in the mirror.

friday, 26th june 2009
kulim, malaysia.

my mom woke me up.
and as usual, i slept back again.
and then she woke me up again,
and i slept back again,
and then she woke me up again,
and this time, she said 'michael jackson dah mati'.
i could never ever sleep again after that.

i mean wtfff!
it's michael jackson!
THE michael jackson!
the ONE AND ONLY michael jackson!
he's not supposed to die yet!
he's the guy who's supposed to live until he's like 80/90...
it was the most shocking news ever.

i have his whole discography in my iTunes.
ALL original.
ALL ripped from his ORIGINAL albums.
that's how much i admire him.

i remember when i was a kid, it was the time when michael was big with 'black and white'.
mid '90s.
back then, whenever they play his music videos, i'd be scared.
because most of 'em are scary.
like thriller, earth song, ghost, scream.
i used to be really scared, but i'd close my eyes and listen to the song.
the only music video i watched entirely back then was 'you are not alone'.

and then when i was 11, it was this phase of my life where i want to be like him.
dressed like him.
talked like him.
sang his songs.
memorized 'em.
watched every single video of his.
played the old VHSs until the were crying for me to stop rewinding and playing 'em back again.
he was really influential.

and plus, ammani and i were planning to go to his concert in KL next year.
he can't die now.
'not when he's making a comeback' said Aainaa Hadi.
very true.

and it took me his death to really really investigate deeply about his life.
and no, people.
he did not bleach his skin.
he had vitiligo,
the skin disease that makes your skin look like a cow.
but his case was the whole body.
but he did undergo a nose surgery.

despite the vitiligo,
despite the nose,
despite the untrue accusations about his child molestation problems,
despite the fact that he's a little cuckoo at times,
and like he said, it doesn't matter if you're black or white,

he's still NUMBER ONE.
and he will NEVER DIE.
just like elvis. ask yourself, when did elvis die*inspired by yahoo!*?
he never died.
and this will definitely happen with MJ.
because you, MJ, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!

goodbye, MJ.
thank you for the music, the inspiration and the influence.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

the lyrics to my current favourite song. you wouldn't believe what it means... haha!

Maa Da Laadla

Movie Name: Dostana (2008)
Singer: Saleem
Music Director: Vishal-Shekhar
Lyrics: Kumaar
Year: 2008
Producer: Hiroo Yash Johar, Karan Johar
Director: Tarun Mansukhani
Actors: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Priyanka Chopra

(Munda Sada Doli Chad Gaya, Band Baj Gaya, Oye Hoye Hoye ) - 2

(Chad Ki Saariyaaan Ek Baariya, Dil Nu Laiyaan Ki Bemaariyan) - 3
(Munda Munde Naal Paunda Yaariyan) - 2
Sheraa Panda Nure Aunda Khwabee Maa Da Ujad Gaya..
(Maa Da Laadla Begad Gaya) - 4
(Munda Sada Doli Chad Gaya, Band Baj Gaya, Oye Hoye Hoye ) - 2

Hire Mile Na Isnu Ye Ranjhe Uthe Mar Gaaya
O Ho Hoh Hire Mile Na Isnu Ye Ranjhe Uthe Mar Gaaya
Gora Cheetha Mukhda Dekho Kala Kar Gaya
Yeh Hoya Sagai Ohy Karo
Kismat Chakraiye Ohy Karo
Jag Sara Hasse Ki Kariye
Hun Koi Na Dasse Ki Kariye
Mehendi Launda Sagun Paunda, Khwaab De Maa Ka Ujad Gaya
(Maa Da Laadla Begad Gaya) - 4
(Munda Sada Doli Chad Gaya, Band Baj Gaya, Oye Hoye Hoye ) - 2

(Hoo Rab Hi Jaane Isspe Kisda Peya Parchawa) - 2
Innu Raj Na Aaiyaaan Zulfon Da Thandiya Chaawa
Yeh Dhoop Vich Sadta Mar Janaa
Mere Kehde Padta Mar Jana
Inke Koi Sudhare Oye Roko
Khenda Bhoot Utare Oye Roko
Make Jodiyan Rud Todiyan
Bin Sade Kab Nipat Gaya
(Maa Da Laadla Begad Gaya) - 4
(Munda Sada Doli Chad Gaya, Band Baj Gaya, Oye Hoye Hoye ) - 2

(Chad Ki Saariyaaan Ek Baariya, Dil Nu Laiyaan Ki Bemaariyan) - 2
(Munda Munde Naal Paunda Yaariyan) - 2
Sheraa Panda Nure Aunda, Khwabee Maa Da Ujad Gaya ..
(Maa Da Laadla Begad Gaya) - 4
(Munda Sada Doli Chad Gaya, Band Baj Gaya, Oye Hoye Hoye ) - 2

Friday, June 19, 2009

Friday, June 12, 2009

never mess with a patient's doctor.

I’ve been wanting to blog about this for a while now. And now that I have finally got the time, I’m doing it.

So it’s about my patient. And how her stupid significant other messed with the wrong guy. As you can see, I hate the living hell out of that guy, due to some reasons I can’t mention.

Once, I was facebooking. And my patient posted a status. Which I saw that her stupid boyfriend commented on. Below is the picture of what happened.


Explanation :

So my patient wrote a status saying “You always want the ones you can’t get”.

And then her stupid boyfriend said “eventually you’ll get the better one”

From my perspective and what it really means, that means that my patient got something she didn’t ask for and didn’t want, which is her stupid boyfriend. And that she wants a better boyfriend. And then her stupid boyfriend said that she would eventually get the better one. Which literally means, that he realized that he’s gonna be left for another better guy.

And I totally agree with that. Hence the reply. I said, “well said?”. The question mark was there because I didn’t really wanna seem that I actually agree something that he says. But then again. What he thinks is not what my patient and I thought. He thought that the status was just at random. Again, hence, the stupid boyfriend.

But then, I realized something. My name and his name, said together, it sounds the same. So, obviously, EW! And then I quickly said “NOT RELATED”, which meant that I am NOT RELATED TO HIM. I didn’t mean that the status was NOT RELATED TO ME. Which I know, it was related to me, if it was related to him as I am a shrink and he is my subject of murder.


He did the biggest mistake of his life. He messed with the wrong guy. He said “ofcoz not related to u”. I couldn’t say much because my patient begged me not to do anything ‘dangerous’. So I followed her. BIGGEST mistake of MY life.

So then I said that he has no idea on how related it was to me. And then, he just turned hiself into a walking dead body, and said “well braniac, maybe u got too much ideas”. Ignoring the atrocious, ugly and bad grammar, I got fired up. You have no idea how fired up I was. I was so fired up. Fired up, baby! Fire, all over! AAARGH!!! Bodo punya setan!

And then my patient asked her best friend and roommate to stop us. Well, Jimah, as much as I appreciated it, it was useless. The hatred I have towards him, is as much as I hate Britney, Paris and Jessica all put together.

Getting angry and angrier and angrier by the minute, I had to be gentle and I couldn’t use harsh words like fuck, asshole or put-together – fucking asshole. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t because I was begged by my patient to not do that. So I just said “well daft, at least my ideas are better than yours”. As you can see, I could have clicked on the comment button after writing “oops, it least I have ideas”. But I didn’t due to some private reasons. Ooopsie. LOL.


And thennnnnn…………………

The ugly, daft, stupid, dimwitted did it again…… ON THE SAME EFFIN’ NIGHT!!!!!

There was this note that my sister posted entitled “What am I to you?”, which was dedicated to her other friend.

I commented on the post, as a joke, and said “my patient?”. And my patient replied, saying “not you, ‘you’. NEXT”, wanting that friend to notice it was for him. And what she meant was, it wasn’t for me, but it was for that other male friend and yet without a doubt, it was related to me because I am the only one in this country who knows about her problem. 

But that was way before the stupid boyfriend incident.

But on the night of the incident, he saw the comment on the “What am I to you?” note and commented on it. Look at the image below.


My level of hatred for that assface went higher and higher and higher. IT said “aish again NOT related to you”, referring to the one before this one. The word going through my mind over and over again was ‘babi, babi, babi'.

Again, as I couldn’t say something too harsh, I just said “omg! go to hell la bugger”. The OMG was because I was surprised that he had the balls to mess with me again. And the go to hell was just simply because I was too sick of his sorry ass messages. And also as u can see, I should have clicked on the comment button as I wrote “it’s not related to YOU! and that’s for sure”. But before I did, my patient deleted that note and the comment wasn’t published. She deleted it because she didn’t wanted to break up with him herself.


And now, I am just waiting for him to make his next move, which will be his last. Until then, I am giving you people out there a message, “never mess with me, or i will hunt you down and kill you until you die a painful death. Literally”. So now, I am just waiting for him to be dumped this July.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

ain't no double dutch bus.

so i was in KL for my aunt's wedding from thursday till sunday.
on thursday, i rode a bus there, because there was no space in the car.
and also because i do not wanna sit with nabilah in the car.

so i got in the bus, it was full.
except the 2 seats in front of mine.
i had to sit next to this guy.
fortunately, he wasn't the weird asking questions type.

and then.....
came this family.
stupid stupid stupid family.
there was 4 of 'em.
the parents and 2 kids.
a boy and a baby girl.
you have no idea how bising they are.
and plus, the girl has to be the ugliest baby i have ever seen in my entire life.
uglier than my sister.
so the person next to me got annoyed and took his mp3 player and plugged his earphone into his ears.
5 seconds later, i did the same thing.

so we ignored them.
and then...
the boy, who was about 6 i think,
stood up on the seat and faced me.
of course, i ignored him.
good thing i didn't hear anything or something unwanted would happen.
you know how deaf i get when i listen to my iPod...
i know that if i hear the kid speaking,
i would get so pissed off because he would be saying something that i hate.
something nabilah would say.

so he was mumbling away...
at one point, guess what he did.
he touched my hand with his finger.
it was sudden.
i was like VADAAAA!
but then the kid squat down on his seat and hid from me.
i thought it was the end.
but i thought wrong.

he came back.
5 minutes later.
so then i pretended i was sleeping.
stupid little kid didn't fall for it.
and then i put my left leg on my right.
apparently, his facial expression looked like he was mad.
and he was touching my shoe.
so i made this muka marah.
and he ignored me and continued.
and then he upgraded.
what else? i hit him la.
then he hid again.

after that, we stopped at the simpang pulai r&r.
everyone got out except me.
finally, some peace.
i stopped my iPod, to save battery power.
and then people started to come in.
the guy next to me came in and ate in the bus.
and then the stupid people came in.
the kid was soooo bising la...
you have no idea how annoying he is.
and you know what, the mother proudly said,
"dia mmg macam ni dari sungai petani tadi. mulut tak boleh ddk diam".
she was soo proud of her stupid ugly kid.

and then her husband came in.
they sat down.
and the kids lagi bising la.
so i started my iPod again.
and then i saw something really disturbing.
the parents were snogging.
their snogging was joining the back of each other's heads,
and then shaking their heads.
apparently, they were aroused by it.

time passes, and i've been playing lily allen's album for like 3 times now.
and GUESS WHAT!!!!!
the ugly annoying kid appeared again.
and this time, he was PINCHING ME!!!
i know! WTFFFFF!
he pinched me once.
i made the muka marah.
he pinched me twice.
i took out my earphones and made it look like i was gonna do something.
he pinched me THREE TIMES!
i leaned forward,
woke up his stupid father.

it was all like this,
"pakcik. *he was deaf i think* PAKCIK!, *deaf again*, PAKCIK!!!. jaga anak betul2 boleh tak?!
bg dia ddk diam skit. dok cubit2 orang!"
and stupidly, the pakcik made this ugly face and did nothing.
and the makcik was like,
"apo tu abang. anok kito buat apo?"
ew gila!

to avoid myself from kicking their heads,
i quickly put my earphones on.
and didn't hear anything.

fortunately, the kid never came and bother me again.
so the rest of it was ok.
arrived safely.
bhei omar picked me up.
told him about what happened on the bus.
he was surprised by the kid.

i have no idea what his parents did to train him on how to behave with strangers.
i do not remember kacau-ing unknown people when i was little.
and i certainly do not remember being annoying.
haih, mel oh mel.

and i am not gonna blog about what happened on the way back!
i am TOO fed up with that one.
ask ammani about it.
and plus, if i blog about it, i'd have to be a wee bit racist.
so no.

all in all,
semua ni...

Monday, June 8, 2009

got tagged.

1. Besides your lips, where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
~ kiss my ass!

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
~ whoa... for the first time, nobody woke me up! yay!

3. Who was the last person/people you took a photo with?
~ it was with the whole wahid ali clan.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
~ 40%.

5. Will you ever donate blood?
~ yes, i would.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite sex?
~ duh! 6 over 7 of 'em are girls.

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
~ you have no idea how much i want noya to be dead.

8. What does your last text message say?
~ school holiday bonus bla bla bla.

9. What are you thinking right now?
~ the anonymous blog.

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
~ not in particular.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
~ 4 am.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
~ im kinda shirtless. just got out of the shower.

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
~ the people who are reading this.

14. Who was the last person who text you?
~ hotlink.

Ten lucky person to do this quiz:
1. bucik
2. ammani
3. elin
4. saganami
5. marcus
6. jennifer lopez
7. ina
8. nad
9. billie holiday
10. vivien

15. Who is no.2 having relationship with?
~ who ever it is, it's a guy.

16. Is no.3 a male or a female?
~ female.

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?
~ ew! they're cousins.

18. What is no.1 studying about?
~ medicine.

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
~ today.

20. Is no.4 single?
~ hmm. i dont even care anymore.

21. Say something about no.2
~ you're so gay and you don't even like boys...

22. What do you think about no.2 and no.6 being together?

23. Describe no.9
~ dead.

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight?
~ i'd use number 7 to get to number 6 and get number 6 to adopt me.

25. Do you like no.8?
~ haha! duh! sin-and-run.


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

according to the book of close-mindedness...

according to the book of close-mindedness,

1) you shall not say 'Oh My God'.
2) you shall not wear jeans.
3) you shall not have best friends who are of the opposite sex.
4) you shall not drink coke.
5) you shall not drink alcohol, but you shall smoke a lot.
6) you shall stereotype people.
7) you shall hate people because of their race.
8) you shall look at people of different races walking together and think to yourselves 'This is a disgrace to humanity!'
9) you shall not be in a relationship.
10) you shall look at an indian-looking person wearing a tudung like she has 13 heads.
11) when you see a father and his son who seems to be of different races, you shall look at them like they have 13 heads too.
12) you shall defend your race and trash others.
13) you shall eat other people's food and not pay for them.
14) you shall not say 'What The Hell'.
15) you shall pick your nose and not wash your hands and then either eat or shake other peoples' hands.
16) you shall only think that if you see a male and a female together, they can ONLY be a couple, they can't be siblings, cousins, best friends. and you hate the idea of them being a couple.

and last but not least,

17) you shall hate me for speaking the truth out and making you realize that you are close-minded.

"home skillin' bizkit"

growing up, i had this sidekick who follows me around in my power rangers automobile-thingamajig. he is a very weird and gay person. so gay, you just wanna kill him. gay or not gay, he's still the person who i hate the most and still tell everything to. which the same thing applies for him too, i think. well, we've been close since i was in diapers. and since he was in diapers (he's still wearing 'em).

i can even see our future. i would be a successful musician in new york, and he would be this jobless bugger with no place to stay and eventually asking to stay with me in my environmental-friendly apartment(which he hates a lot). and he would be eating off my large pay. and then, i will eventually get married and he would still be in the apartment. and then we die. i promised him that i will walk him to hell, holding his pinky, and then i shoot off to heaven.
so that's our life plan.

we tell each other everything. if we were both black ladies, he'd me my guurlllfriendddd, which is something i totally don't want to be. the lady part that is. the black part, i am already.  he's not. oh yeah! he is the whitest person i know. whiter than canadians. he is the most racist, selfish, careless, helpless u will ever know. whhoops. i think i just described an mk. LOL! he is kind of one, though...

as funny as i am, that's how funny he is. i can be sarcastic funny. he can be dumb-blonde funny. we make a pretty good team. he's my partner in crime. to list down the crimes we have done, a) made my patient give a lap dance to our uncle, b) drank virgin bloody mary and couldn't taste anything after that, c) making maggies in the middle of the night knowing it's gonna taste like feet, and when we taste it, we just leave it in the sink to let santok clean it the next day, d) tuc tuc oi-ing people!, e) calling 'ah chong' and pretending that we wanna buy his space, and f) so much more!

going to public places with lots of people around and mocking each and everyone of them silently and/or loudly is our all time favorite hobby. all the tipah's and the joyah's will be our prey. i call him on the phone sometimes, and it is never less than 40 minutes. 40 minutes is average, and 1 hour is kinda normal. we always hang up because either mere ma or mere babuji will come and bang on the door asking us to stop. oh well... we never do.

as gay as this post may sound, it's just for the gayest, dumbest, ugliest, racistest, funniest little bugger in my life. i cannot believe that my home skillin' bizkit is not 19 years old. LOL. ten years ago, i bought him a mug and the handle is the number 9. haha! ugly green mug!
let's just say that he's the white part of me, and i'm the black and brown part of him. and when we're together, we're the color of schlepong!

well, ammani, i am wishing you a very lousy birthday, as i know it's gonna be lousy without me there and without anybody there and plus, u have an exam. i give u my word, that friday night, is gonna be such a paaaaaartayyyy!!! and hey, u are never hearing me say i love you. because 'aku tak suka kat hang and aku takmau tgk wayang dgn hang'. LOL! that was soo gay, man!

anywayyys, stay off the phone with keren and pick the damn phone while im calling, u idiot! i dont wanna hear that ugly caller ringtone of yours ever again!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

what do you do...

what do you do if your best friend just died?
> find a new one?

what do you do when are driving and there's a stupid driver who stops at a green light?
> honk like a mad person and follow that bugger home and assassinate him/her.

what do you do if you have a new maid who can't speak any language you can?
> pictionary?

what do you do when you are on a plane for about 12 hours without a laptop or any type of entertainment?
> press the button and when the ugly transvestite of a stewardess comes, say that i didn't do anything. and do that for the whole 12 hours.

what do you do if someone tells you you are good looking?
> tell me something i don't know?

what do you do when you listen to the YMCA song?
> stop what ever i'm doing and go kill the white people who are dancing to it, including ammani.