"home skillin' bizkit"

growing up, i had this sidekick who follows me around in my power rangers automobile-thingamajig. he is a very weird and gay person. so gay, you just wanna kill him. gay or not gay, he's still the person who i hate the most and still tell everything to. which the same thing applies for him too, i think. well, we've been close since i was in diapers. and since he was in diapers (he's still wearing 'em).

i can even see our future. i would be a successful musician in new york, and he would be this jobless bugger with no place to stay and eventually asking to stay with me in my environmental-friendly apartment(which he hates a lot). and he would be eating off my large pay. and then, i will eventually get married and he would still be in the apartment. and then we die. i promised him that i will walk him to hell, holding his pinky, and then i shoot off to heaven.

so that's our life plan.

we tell each other everything. if we were both black ladies, he'd me my guurlllfriendddd, which is something i totally don't want to be. the lady part that is. the black part, i am already.  he's not. oh yeah! he is the whitest person i know. whiter than canadians. he is the most racist, selfish, careless, helpless u will ever know. whhoops. i think i just described an mk. LOL! he is kind of one, though...

as funny as i am, that's how funny he is. i can be sarcastic funny. he can be dumb-blonde funny. we make a pretty good team. he's my partner in crime. to list down the crimes we have done, a) made my patient give a lap dance to our uncle, b) drank virgin bloody mary and couldn't taste anything after that, c) making maggies in the middle of the night knowing it's gonna taste like feet, and when we taste it, we just leave it in the sink to let santok clean it the next day, d) tuc tuc oi-ing people!, e) calling 'ah chong' and pretending that we wanna buy his space, and f) so much more!

going to public places with lots of people around and mocking each and everyone of them silently and/or loudly is our all time favorite hobby. all the tipah's and the joyah's will be our prey. i call him on the phone sometimes, and it is never less than 40 minutes. 40 minutes is average, and 1 hour is kinda normal. we always hang up because either mere ma or mere babuji will come and bang on the door asking us to stop. oh well... we never do.

as gay as this post may sound, it's just for the gayest, dumbest, ugliest, racistest, funniest little bugger in my life. i cannot believe that my home skillin' bizkit is not 19 years old. LOL. ten years ago, i bought him a mug and the handle is the number 9. haha! ugly green mug!

let's just say that he's the white part of me, and i'm the black and brown part of him. and when we're together, we're the color of schlepong!

well, ammani, i am wishing you a very lousy birthday, as i know it's gonna be lousy without me there and without anybody there and plus, u have an exam. i give u my word, that friday night, is gonna be such a paaaaaartayyyy!!! and hey, u are never hearing me say i love you. because 'aku tak suka kat hang and aku takmau tgk wayang dgn hang'. LOL! that was soo gay, man!

anywayyys, stay off the phone with keren and pick the damn phone while im calling, u idiot! i dont wanna hear that ugly caller ringtone of yours ever again!

what do you do...

what do you do if your best friend just died?

> find a new one?

what do you do when are driving and there's a stupid driver who stops at a green light?

> honk like a mad person and follow that bugger home and assassinate him/her.

what do you do if you have a new maid who can't speak any language you can?

> pictionary?

what do you do when you are on a plane for about 12 hours without a laptop or any type of entertainment?

> press the button and when the ugly transvestite of a stewardess comes, say that i didn't do anything. and do that for the whole 12 hours.

what do you do if someone tells you you are good looking?

> tell me something i don't know?

what do you do when you listen to the YMCA song?

> stop what ever i'm doing and go kill the white people who are dancing to it, including ammani.

05.21.08

hmm.

went out with friends.

aidil+fiqa+lisa+isuuu.

fun!

went to ate first.

mcd.

proved to them that i can finish a cheeseburger in exactly 3.30 minutes.

totally proven.

plus. i got like 10 seconds left.

then we went up to the cinema.

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2.

so here's my review.

we went in late. so we missed the starting by 5 minutes i think.

nvm though.

but...

i feel like suing tgv.

they showed the movie. and then...

suddenly, it skipped from the starting to the ending.

and after that, it continued where it skipped.

and suddenly after that, it skipped to the part before the ending.

and after that, it skipped to the middle of the story.

and after that, it went to 5 minutes of the ending.

and after that, the credits.

it was a good thing we realized that.

so we kinda understood the movie.

it was the dimwitted people surrounding us that were stupid.

get it figured out in your head, enuff la.

xpayah la whisper in a LOUD voice saying, "apo tu? awat dio jadi lagu tu" *read that in the most kampong way u can*

well, i didn't wanna ruin everyone's day by cursing to practically everyone because of the movie, so i just keep it to myself to blog about it.

after the movie,

we went around...

bought shasi's shirt.

then bought my shirt for the wedding.

NOT PINK! yay!

LOL.

and then...

hmm.. they went home.

leaving me alone, waiting for my dad to finish work, which i had an hour to wait.

so i got bored.

went to the cinema, and bought a ticket to

STAR TREK.

i have no choice.

it was either that or syurga cinta. ew.

so here's my review.

it was SOOO STUPID!

i can't believe there are actually people making the show a religion.

it was on ships and 'klingons' and 'vulcans' and some stupid 'enterprise'.

omg. that was ugly!

the people was ugly, the movie was ugly, it was uglyyy!

and inside, it was like really really big.

but there was just 4 people including me.

that shows how ugly it is.

seriously, i was sitting there alone.

got too bored, put my hood up.

and think about pupi ani's wedding.

think about band.

think about stuff.

not the movie.

it was 2 freaking hours, man!

i got out, went home and felt soooo happy.

that the movie was over.

oh, the horror!

and that's what happened on 05.21.09.

observing again...

so that day i was in penang.

went to the nasi kandar shariff stall.

obviously, i was uncomfortable with that idea.

well, hmm.

so i went there, and observed.

next to our table, was this table with 4 malays.

3 females and a male.

of one of the females was wearing this really ugly shirt.

it was that shade of pink that makes your eyes want to swim in pepper spray to stop the pain.

the shirt was tight and the sleeves were near sleeveless.

not to mention, she's fat!

a fat malay female wearing tudung and a really tight, sleveless and ugly pink shirt.

and ugly jeans, of course. duh!

so...

whenever she leans back, it's ok.

everything's covered.

but.........

when she leans forward to gain her weight (eat),

you can see half of her butt!

it was like she was shouting out to the world "see my butt crack, you WON'T have sleeping problems after that!"

please la, woman!

i do not wanna see your literally fat ass!

the thing is...

it was disgusting and funny at the same time

because she eats, her butt shows.

she doesn't eat, he butt's covered.

EWWWWW!!!!!

EWWWWW!!!!!

then the others are like...

normal la...

a 70 yo malay woman tight wearing jeans.

mid 30s men talking about computer games.

explaining to each other what to press at what point.

hmm...

people are funny.

so are you.

something you might not find funny if you don't know them...

so i found this and i HAD to copy paste it hear because it's so damn funny and im ROFL!!!!

found in the utusan malaysia website. today!

Jeritan Farina punca dia ditembak perompak

PULAU PINANG 10 Mei - ''Perompak itu panik selepas mendengar isteri saya menjerit. Jeritan itu menyebabkan dia ditembak dari jarak dekat oleh perompak tersebut.''

Demikian cerita Fadil Jab, 22, suami kepada pekerja kedai emas, Farina Romli, 23, yang cedera ditembak dalam rompakan di Kompleks Bukit Jambul di sini malam tadi.

Ketika ditemui di Hospital Pulau Pinang (HPP) di sini hari ini, Fadil bersyukur kerana Farina yang baru dikahwininya 10 bulan lalu terselamat walaupun mengalami kecederaan di bahagian pipi kanan.

Menurutnya, tembakan yang dilepaskan oleh salah seorang daripada tiga perompak itu walaupun tidak tepat, mengenai pipi kanan isterinya dan cukup untuk mencederakan mangsa.

Katanya, Farina agak bernasib baik kerana tembakan itu tidak merosakkan mana-mana urat atau arteri utama wajah isterinya.

''Dia boleh bergerak dan bercakap tetapi asyik mengadu sakit di pipi kanan. Apa pun, saya amat bersyukur kerana keadaannya yang kini stabil,'' ujarnya.

Dalam rompakan nekad kedai emas di Kompleks Bukit Jambul kira-kira pukul 8.30 malam tadi, salah seorang daripada tiga perompak mati akibat ditembak pengawal keselamatan.

Walaupun terbabit dalam insiden itu, kata Fadil, isterinya yang bekerja di kedai emas berkenaan sejak dua tahun lalu tetap enggan mencari pekerjaan lain.

''Kami sekeluarga bimbang dengan keselamatan dan risiko bekerja di kedai emas. Malah, ibu mertua saya telah menasihati Farina supaya berhenti kerja di situ dan mencari kerja di tempat lain tetapi dia enggan kerana sudah selesa bekerja di situ,'' katanya.

we won! we won! we won!

just bragging.we won! we won! we won!

we won the ENGLISH PARLIAMENTARY DEBATE - DISTRICT 

LEVEL!

and nikki got best speaker! woohoo!

go nikki!

and the best of all. i didn't stammer at all during POIs!

that's a big achievement.

and i didn't shake!

yipee!

and i'm HYPERRRRR!

while i was on stage,

looking at the audience.

looking at where badlishah was,

they were smiling!

and weird ugly people i don't know smiled too!

teacher zuriati was the best!

every time i answer a POI,

she'd be the first one to start people clapping!

and the best part of all...

people kept on saying that i look handsome in the outfit!

yay me!

but then, the weirdest thing happened.

akashah came up to me after the competition and said

"whoa. firas. u are so popular. people kept talking about u"

i was like "whaaaa"

and that explains why everyone kept asking my name when they see me.

but it didn't explain why was i 'popular'.

oh well.

i'm handsome and popular.

yay me! again.

but i still wish a few other people could have been there.

lisa! najat! pravin! marcus!!!

but then again. if marcus was there, we wouldn't win.

i'll get too distracted.

we'll talk too much about russell peters.

"nothing. nothing is coming."

" LV - loose. loose is loose. vooten. loose vooten"

now, states.

smkk asked us to kill ibrahim for them.

we will.

duh!

then nationals, hopefully.

and then we meet st columba!

roshan's excited about that idea.

and thanks for ALL the congrats i got.

copy-pasting what my dad forwarded.

Having gone thru. the attachment, I've come to know that for the time being there is no VACCINE available, so we need to go thru. following FAQs.

Swine flu         What is swine flu? Swine Influenza (swine flu) is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses that causes regular outbreaks in pigs.         Is Swine flu virus contagious? Swine influenza A (H1N1) virus is contagious and spreads from human to human.         What are the signs and symptoms of swine flu in people? Fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Pneumonia and respiratory failure and deaths have been reported.         How does swine flu spread? Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing one day before symptoms develop and up to 7 or more days after becoming sick.         What should I do to keep from getting the flu? Wash your hands. Try to stay in good general health. Try not touch surfaces that may be contaminated with the flu virus. Avoid close contact with people who are sick.         Are there medicines to treat swine flu?Yes.         How long can viruses live outside the body? We know that some viruses and bacteria can live 2 hours or longer on surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks.         How serious is swine flu infection? Like seasonal flu, swine flu in humans can vary in severity from mild to severe.         Can I get swine influenza from eating food? No. Swine influenza viruses are not spread by food.         What can I do to protect myself from getting sick? There is no vaccine available. Take these everyday steps to protect your health: 1.        Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. 2.        Wash your hands often with soap and water. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective. 3.        Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way. 4.        Try to avoid close contact with sick people.